Neon Genesis Evangelion  Indecisive Shinji Ikari
by Halo Knight Zero
Summary: What if Shinji was a docile boy, but looks a lot more than you gave him credit for. He maybe more trouble than he is worth it. What will this cause? Hilarity will ensue. *NOTE* TITLE MAY CHANGE!
1. Chapter 1 The What

**Disclaimer: I do (NOT) own Evangelion or any references I made in this story. If you know the references are from, get yourself a cookie cuz I don't have any to give out. Like I would give out MY cookies. Thank you and enjoy! Not the cookies.**

Summary: What if Shinji was indecisive in doing things and thinks too much on something important and unimportant. What will this cause? Hilarity will ensue.

**Legend:**

**Bold - scene transfer**

_Italics - Shinji's thoughts_

* * *

**CHAPTER ONE: THE WHAT**

**Tokyo 3, 2015**

Tokyo 3. A city that's used to be filled with people. Now it's nothing but a ghost town with the exception of the announcement throughout the city to take shelter and a lonely black hair boy, wearing a white collar t-shirt with black pants and a green back-pack, on the telephone booth. Who is hearing his own announcement.

"We're sorry. Due to the state of special emergency, no lines are currently available. This is a recording."

"Well. This…was a waste of time. Why did I even bother coming here?" The boy in question, Shinji Ikari, with a questioned face with a finger on his chin started to think back.

He then slam his right hand into his left palm.

"Oh yeahhhh…Uncle threw me out. But I wonder why he was crying with a smile if he threw me out? Oh well."

He took out a picture, with a kiss mark on it with a name of Misato Katsuragi, a full grown woman with purple hair, bending forward posing a peace sign, with a note to note of her impressive big feature that cannot be missed by any known reason...unless they are blind. Then oh well. Sorry for your loss.

"Interesting," he looked up from the picture, "but what am I going to do now? She was to suppose to meet me sometime ago, of which I forgot what time I am suppose to meet her and where… oh well. Guess I'll just…walk around until something happens."

Just has he turned his head. He saw a girl with blue hair wearing a school uniform down the street.

"Oh well you look at that. There IS somebody in this city after all." As he was about to walk towards her. Some birds flew by. Looking up and back to her just to see…

"Meow"

"A cat." The boy looked at the cat, that has silver fur and sapphire eyes, that was staring at him. Then it ran off.

"Okayyyy. Now where did that girl go? Should I just wait here and let somebody find me or do I walk off and find somebody or do I…" He never got to finish that thought as the ground shook, bracing himself from the shock. Then he heard some helicopters and promptly looked at the direction of the sounds.

"What the…?" Looking at the VTOLs flying backward from a giant humanoid monstrosity. It had a bird like face but flat, with white shoulder pads and a black body with red orb in the middle.

"Holy shit on a stick! What the hell is THAT?" *WHOOSH* *WHOOSH*

"Aahhh!" He looked up to see missiles flying over his head, towards the creature. The creature took direct hits from the missiles and then it retaliated. One of the hit VTOLs crashed near him.

"WHOA! HAAAAAH! HAAAH! SONAVA BITCH! What the Freak!" Shinji fell to the ground. Few seconds later a blue car stopped by. The passenger door opened to reveal a woman wearing shades.

"Sorry. Get in. Am I real late?" Shinji just bolted into the passenger seat, closed and locked the door.

"Drive!" Shinji yelled. The woman shifted gears and sped off as another VTOL crashed where they were.

**Few minutes later…**

_Does she really have to lean on me just to see what's going out there? Not that I'm complaining what I'm staring at. It's what I'm staring at that's gonna kill me in a few seconds if SHE DOESN'T GET THE HELL OFF OF MEEEEEE! _

Shinji yelled a muffled cry in Misato's breasts, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH."

"Oops! Sorry. Hehe." Misato leaned back into her own seat and just looked back at the action with her binoculars. She just see the VTOLs flying away and immediately she knew what they were doing.

"Now wait a second…No! They're using the N2 mine! Get down!" Misato threw herself onto Shinji to protect him from the blast.

"The what now?" But the only answer he got was a bright flash and the car rolling and flying from the blast.

After the shockwave was over, the car finally stopped, suffering minimal damage. Flipped upside down but stopped.

"Are you alright?" Misato asked Shinji.

"Yeah. Except my mouth is full of dirt and my clothes are dirty. And not in a good way."

"You'll be alright," she said as she got out of the car along with Shinji, "Now come on." They both leaned on the car.

"And go! Push."

"I am pushing! But it won't go back in!"

"NOT that! The CAR!" They both pushed the car into the upright position.

"Yeah!" They both exclaimed. Misato clapped her hands to dust off the dirt.

"Thanks Shinji. You're pretty useful."

"Thanks. But I should thank you Ms. Katsuragi."

"Ah Misato is fine. So Shinji Ikari. We meet at last." Taking off her shades.

"Ah yeah." _Where the hell were you? Actually. Where the hell am I suppose to go? And wasn't I suppose to do something? _

_It's definitely not that. Not that. Nor that. Wait. Am I suppose to meet somebody? Who…?_

**Few scenes later that are not important or just really damn boring and after much taping and battery stealing…I swear that must be an innuendo. Misato is currently talking on the phone driving Shinji towards their destination.**

"Yeah. Don't worry. His safety is my top priority." _Really? After the breast hold you did on me? _Shinji continued to view the scenery outside the window.

"Look can you get a car train ready for us? An express of course." _A what now? A car…train? That had better be some kind of innuendo. Cuz I have never, ever heard of a car that is a train. Or a train that is a car. Well. There is a first time for everything…just hope not OF everything._

"Well I did volunteer to pick him up." _And you're saying like that's a bad thing?_

"And it's my duty that he makes it there." _I wonder how's that milkshake doing._

"See ya!" She hangs up her phone. Shinji turns to look at Misato only to see her face changing expression to depression.

_Why is she making those faces? Is something wrong? Is she worried about something? Does she needs to go to restroom? I hope so. I need to go since I got here. I KNEW I shouldn't have gotten that extra large slurpee! _

"Excuse me Misato?"

"Hmm? What's that?" She turned and smiled at him.

"Those batteries. Is it alright to take batteries from unattended stores? Isn't it stealing?" Giving an accusing look at Misato.

"Um. Ah! Don't worry. It's an emergency, and we needed a working car right? Ah And I am a government official after all."

_Yeah and I'm an Admiral._

"So everything will be perfectly fine. OK? OK."

"That'ssss not a very good excuse to use. Even if we did need a car."

"You're not fun. You know. You're not cute as I thought you were."

"Is that so? You not mature as I thought you were."

"Grrrr!" Misato swerves the car to get back at Shinji.

"Whoa! Ah! Ah! Watch out! Misato! Watch out for that…!" And they continue to drive down the tunnel. No seriously that HAD to be an innuendo.

**More boring scenes blah blah angel this angel that blah blah cookie…**

"The gate is now closing. Please stand clear…" is said on the intercom as they are traveling down deeper of NERV. Riding on a car train (some sort of escalator for cars. I don't know from what I've seen from the episode) down a clear view tunnel, that is currently showing nothing at the moment.

Shinji is on his way to meet somebody.

"Huh?" said Shinji.

"Uh huh. So…how's it feel to meet your father again after all these years?"

"My what now?" Shinji looked at her with genuine curiosity. Misato just sweat dropped at that.

"Um…You do know who is your father right?" She asked. Hoping this was just a joke.

"Ummmm…ummmmm…umm…who?" Misato just face-planted onto the dashboard.

"You're not serious are you?" Shinji just stares at her. "Sigh. Ok fine. You father is Gendo Ikari. He is the Supreme Commander of NERV. NERV is the last hope of humanity to stand against the Angels. The giant creature you just saw. Get it now?"

"…what?" Misato proceeds to bang her head on the dash broad and groans.

"Look never mind. You'll meet him when you get there. OK?" Shinji just nods. "Good. Now take a look out of your window." And Shinji does as he is told and sees…

"Meow."

"A cat." Shinji looked surprised by it. And it was the same cat as before. Misato was very shocked to see a cat hanging out of her window.

"What the! How? What?" Misato just stares in awe at it as it just jumps off and disappearing into thin air.

"Wow how cool was that? Oh look a Geofront. How awesome is that!" And down and down they go…


	2. Chapter 2 The Why

**Disclaimer: I do (NOT) own Evangelion or any references I made in this story. If you know the references are from, get yourself a cookie cuz I don't have any to give out. Like I would give out MY cookies. Thank you and enjoy! Not the cookies.**

Summary: What if Shinji was indecisive in doing things and thinks too much on something important and unimportant. What will this cause? Hilarity will ensue.

Legend:

**Bold - scene transfer**

_Italics - Shinji's thoughts_

* * *

**CHAPTER TWO: THE WHY**

**Still on the car train heading deep into the bowels of NERV…sounds wrong.**

Shaken from her stupor, Misato asks Shinji, "Oh yeah. Did you get sent an I.D. card?"

"Uh yeah…I think. Let me check." Shinji rummages through his backpack and hands it to her.

"Thanks. Here read this." Misato hands Shinji a book.

"How to please yourse…" Before Shinji could finish reading it, it vanished from his hand. Misato with a bright red blush, puts the 'book' away and hands Shinji a book about NERV.

"Oops! Hahaha! Wrong one. Here." Shinji takes the book.

"NERV. Am I gonna start working here? Cuz I doubt that I can do anything that might help your secret over-funded facility, that might have or have not any plans to put the world into jeopardy. I mean. If you are gonna bring a disaster on to the planet, I might have conflicted feelings about it as I had plans as well for this planet." Shinji looks towards Misato for an answer. Misato just stared at him with a sweat drop.

"Uhhhh…what?"

"What? I just asked if I'm gonna work here or not?" Misato just shook her head.

"Look I don't know why you are here. Just…ask your dad OK?" Shinji nods.

"Good." Misato just looks forward.

"…Who is he again?" Misato face-planted.

"Look! Just forget about it OK?" Shinji just nods.

**After much time going down the tunnel. And many face-plantings. Here we find…**

"Sigh. What on earth? Isn't this the right way?" Misato looks at map with much confusion. While Shinji continues to read the book about NERV.

"I'm sorry. I'm not used to this place yet." Looks at Shinji with a apologetic expression.

"We've passed this part twice now," Shinji said, still reading the book.

"Hmm," Misato gave an annoyed look, "Don't worry. They made things to be put to use, you know?"

_Really? Then what kind of use of you do you have here? Besides having that kind of body…oh._

**Somewhere else in the bowels of NERV…**

"Will the chair person of the E Project Technical Division One, Dr. Ritsuko Akagi, contact Captain Misato Katsuragi…"

"Oh I don't believe it. Is she lost again?" Said a blonde in a one-piece swimsuit.

**And back to our hero…sort of…riding in the elevator…**

The elevator dinged, sounding it's destination reached. The door opened to reveal the blonde in a one-piece swimsuit, who is now known as Ritsuko Akagi A.K.A *Censored*… what the? Damn you Pavlov!

"Uhhhh…Hi there Ritsuko." Ritsuko just stepped forward into the elevator and the door closing behind her as they continue down into the pits of hell…I mean NERV…NERV…yeah…

"Hmm. Why are you wasting my time Captain?" Asks Ritsuko.

_Yeah and I'm an Admiral…hold on just a second. She's actually a Captain? What the hell! Why is someone like her a Captain? What did she do? It has to be that body._

"You know we are short on time and man power," Ritsuko continues to beret the our unlucky, yet hot, Captain.

"Uhh…sorry," Misato clapped her hands together and bowed apologetically towards her. Ritsuko then looks toward Shinji, who hasn't said anything, just keep reading that book. Really. What's in the book that is so crucial that he must keep reading it?

"So. Is this the boy?"

"Uh right. According to the Murdok report. He is the Third Child," Misato answered.

_Third child? Last I checked I'm an only child…then again…I don't know my own father, so he might have…who the hell is he?_

"Hmm. Pleased to meet you," said Ritsuko.

"Huh?" After finally looking up from the book, "Oh sure. Hello."

"I'm afraid he is just like his father. The gruff and unfriendly part that is," said Misato.

"My who?" asks Shinji. Misato just face-palmed, as Ritsuko just looked on with a raised eye-brow and sweat drops.

**After some time on the elevator. They are now on another elevator in the dark going up…really now…**

"BATTLE STATION LEVEL ONE…"

"There we go," said Misato.

"Sounds serious," replied Ritsuko.

" So how's Unit 01 doing?" asks Misato.

"It's currently going under refrigeration. Using the B-type equipment." Shinji just continues to read his book…no seriously. Why is he reading it? And how can he read it in the dark?

"Does it really work?" asks Misato, "It had never worked before has it?"

"The possible activation is .0000000001%. Around here we just call it the O Nine system," Ritsuko answered.

"Does that mean it doesn't work?" replied Misato.

_Like you?_

"Don't be insulting. It's O Nine as in Oni. A Japanese devil," Ritsuko replied back.

"Huh," Shinji replied with somehow interest tone.

"I guess it's too late to say, 'Sorry it doesn't work'," said Misato with humor in her voice.

**Now onto the boat scene. Then into a dark room…yay…**

"Hey! Why is it so dark in here? I was still reading that!" Boy you better put down that book or I'll…

The lights turned on and revealed…

"Ahhhhh," Shinji screamed, at a giant face with a single horn on its forehead, "Aaaaaahhhh!"

"Would stop screaming?" yelled Misato, "And what are you screaming about? It's just a big face."

"But! But!"

"But what?" asks Misato.

"It's…"

"It's…?"

"It's…"

"It's…?" Misato getting very annoyed, "Just say it already!"

"It's a horny purple giant!"

"…" Misato just stares at him.

"…" Ritsuko just stares at him.

"This wasn't in the book," said Shinji. Seriously man. Did you actually read the whole book?

"You won't find this in there. This is man's ultimate fighting machine. A synthetic life form known as Evangelion Unit One. Built here in secret. Mankind's last hope," Ritsuko answered him.

_Geez dramatic much? Wait…synthetic life form? What…?_ "So who built this?" asks Shinji.

"That would be your father's work," replied Misato.

"Really?" asks Shinji.

"Correct," said an unknown voice filled with bastardly.

"Huh?" Shinji looks up to see whose voice that belongs to and sees a man in military uniform with an orange tinted sunglasses. "It's been a while."

"…"

"…"

After a few seconds of staring…

"Uhhhh…who are you?" Both Misato and Ritsuko just felled down from the shock, while the man, known as the Gendo Ikari, just stood there staring impassively at his son.

"Oh you got to be kidding me? Shinji. That's your father. Don't you recognize him?" asks Misato. Shinji just looks at Gendo and says, "Who?"

"Shinji must have suffered a shock from the time his father abandoned him, thus he repressed the memory of his father." Ritsuko concluded.

"Actually no. I didn't repressed it at all," said Shinji.

"Huh?" Ritsuko looked at Shinji with a questioned look. "Then how do you not know him?"

"Well. Isn't it logical that I wouldn't know him since he abandoned me like 10 years ago? I was 4 at the time. Like I could remember anything from those times. Hell. I don't even remember anything under the age of 10. All I remember was meeting up with Uncle. He took care of me. Then he started to get annoyed with me. Said that I should not have been left to him. And told me to stop talking about something about anything. So yeah anyway. There's no way a child could remember anything from his time at the age of 7 or below as time goes on, more things comes to mind to push things out of the mind and…" Shinji just keeps going on and on until.

"OK Shinji you can stop now!" yelled Misato. "Jeez, how can your Uncle stand you?"

"Move out!" Gendo commanded.

"What? Move out?" Misato looked at her commander with a shocking look, "Unit 00 is still in cryostasis! Gasp! Wait a minute! You're gonna use Unit 01?" exclaimed Misato.

"There's no other way," replied Ritsuko.

"Now wait. Rei can't do it yet, can she? We don't have a pilot," said Misato

_She?_

"We just recieved one," Ritsuko replied.

"You're serious," was all Misato could say before Ritsuko turned to Shinji.

"Shinji Ikari. You will pilot it."

"Huh?" Was all he can say.

"But even Rei Ayanami took 7 months to synchronize with her EVA. It's impossible for him to do it. He just got here," said Misato

"He just have to sit in its seat. We don't expect more than that," Ritsuko answered back.

_Oh thanks a lot. I could do a lot more than sitting. In fact there are things I CAN do while I'm sitting like…_

"Ahh but.."

"Listen. Defeating the angel is our ultimate priority. If we have someone who has a chance to synchronize with an EVA. Then we have to risk it. You do understand that? Do you Captain Katsuragi?

"Yes ma'am," was all Misato could reply.

"Now hold on." Ritsuko and Misato looked a Shinji. "Why was I sent here? Just to pilot this…this thing?"

"You know why I sent for you," said Gendo.

"So you want me, an inexperience 14 year old boy, to pilot a giant horny purple robot…"

"Stop saying that!" Ritsuko shouted.

"…that has the possibility to cause more havoc than that angel had already done? Not only that. Have you consider the possibility of the death of many that may ensue out of this outcome if you let a 14 year old boy, who knows nothing about what's going on here, pilot that thing? Also, I may destroy the entire world…not for the lack of trying mind you."

"What?" asked Misato.

"Nothing! Nothing!" Shinji just shifted his eyes before setting his eyes on his 'father'.

"So this is all you want me to do?"

"Correct," Gendo replied.

"Well. I'm going have to think about it." Misato, Ritsuko and the tech crew just stared at him in shock.

"Wait what? Shinji. You're just gonna _think_ about this?" Ritsuko asked, looking at him bewilderedly.

"Of course. I have to think things out before I do something so incredibly stupid, that I may kill myself. Like I'm going to do that again. Not what after I did to Uncle." Misato just stared.

"What did you do?" asked Misato.

"I…"

"Enough!" shouted Gendo. Causing everyone to look at him. "Shinji, you will pilot it. Or you can just get out, for I have no use for you if you do not pilot it."

"OK. But I still have to think about it. I mean there are still the consequence to think about. And also I do not know the way out of here. I might get lost and having Misato with me is not very insuring."

"Hey!" Misato shouted out of annoyance.

"So lets see…if I do do it, then…" Shinji started to contemplate on what to do, while everyone started to fear for there lives as there is a remote chance, which is getting bigger at the moment, that this is the last day they will live. Some even started regretted for not doing what they wanted to do the most. Like starting a garden, being a father, or at least sleeping with a woman.

While that was going on. The angel launched an attack above NERV, shook the base.

"The angel is here. Will you pilot it or not?" Gendo asking Shinji.

"So if I do do that, then this will…" Shinji continues to think as he ignores his father. Gendo couldn't do anything but glare and think angry thoughts at him. Gendo activated a communication system linked to the bridge.

"Fuyutsuki, send in Rei." An old man with grey hair looked at Gendo with a worried look.

"But she is still recovering," Fuyutsuki replied.

"She's still not dead yet is she," Gendo said as a cold statement.

"Understood." And the link went dead. I wonder what else is dead...

The door opened revealing doctors and a blue hair girl on a stretch cart. Shinji continues to remain oblivious as he still thinking on what to do.

Rei tries to stand but another shock landed her on the ground.

"Ahh," Rei gasped from the pain. After hearing that, Shinji looks at her.

"What the? Where she come from?" Another shock came and this time a debris started fall on top of her. Shinji seeing this rushed towards her and held her to protect her from the impact…

*Crash*

Which never came as an arm shot out above the two child. Unit 01 left arm blocked the debris from falling onto the children.

"What? This can't be! Unit 01 shouldn't have done that!" Ritsuko started to brainstorm some ideas on how it was able to move. Misato was also thinking on it as well.

"Why did it do that?" Misato looked toward the children. "It was protecting him."

Shinji just looked at the girl in his arms.

_Hey. She's that girl I saw on the street. But why?_ As he continues to ponder, he notice something wet on his hand. _Blood. Her blood._

Gendo just stares at his son with a smile.

"Alright. I'll do it."


	3. Chapter 3 The Coming

**Disclaimer: I do (NOT) own Evangelion or any references I made in this story. If you know the references are from, get yourself a cookie cuz I don't have any to give out. Like I would give out MY cookies. Thank you and enjoy! Not the cookies.**

Summary: What if Shinji was indecisive in doing things and thinks too much on something important and unimportant. What will this cause? Hilarity will ensue.

**Legend:**

**Bold - scene transfer**

_Italics - Shinji's thoughts_

* * *

**CHAPTER THREE: THE COMING**

**After much talking, thinking and some casualties that won't be mentioned…**

"Alright, I'll do it," Shinji proclaimed. Gendo smiled.

"Have Unit 01 be reconfigured and move out," Gendo ordered before leaving. Ritsuko started to prep Unit 01 for battle and techs were getting ready as well.

Shinji looked down at the girl lying in his arms. He picks her up and laid her down on the stretch cart. The doctors then took her and left the area.

"Alright, since I agreed to this, let's get started." Shinji turns toward Ritsuko. "Dr. Akagi. What do I do now?"

Ritsuko turned towards him and answered, "Like I said before. All you'll have to do is just sit in it. So for starters, just climb up that ladder," Ritsuko points at the ladder at her left. "And then just sit in the cockpit." Shinji raised an eyebrow at that word.

"You want me to sit in a what now?"

"A cockpit."

"Whoa now! Now, now. Let's not get nasty alright. I just asked where I should sit." Ritsuko just looked at him with an annoyed look.

"Look Shinji. It's not what you think it is. It's just a cockpit."

"I bet you've done it before plenty of times to get that understanding." Ritsuko vein popped. Misato just looked at them in amusement.

"And what are you implying?" Ritsuko glared angrily at him. Shinji sweat dropped at that look.

"Nothing! But still. I am not going in some kind of cock pit. It sounds gross." Ritsuko just face-palmed while Misato just laughed.

"Shinji. Do you even know what a cockpit is?" Ritsuko asked. Shinji just shook his head.

"Nope. Never heard it before. But definitely heard of THAT word before." Ritsuko started to get a migraine and rubbed her head.

"Look Shinji. Just climb in the damn thing before we all die ok?" Ritsuko shouted at Shinji. Shinji nodded rapidly. Ritsuko handed him some kind of clips.

"What are these?" Asked Shinji.

"They are A-10 clips. They clip onto your head. It's to help us get a better reading of you when you are inside."

"OK. But remember. I am in no way, no how responsible for ANYTHING that happens while in that thing. So if the Earth blows up. I did NOT do it…yet anyway." Misato looked at him, while he clips it to his head.

"Shinji. Why are you always saying about blowing up the world?" Ritsuko was piqued by this as well.

"I what now? Who wants to blow up the world?" Both Ritsuko and Misato just face-palmed themselves…that has been happening a lot lately. Doesn't it hurt when someone do that?

"Just get in the damn thing already!" Ritsuko shouted at him. Shinji immediately ran to the ladder and climbed into the cockpit. Ritsuko and Misato headed to the bridge to analyze and watched the situation from there.

Both arriving at the bridge, we see three people on consoles. Two males and one female wearing standard NERV uniform. The males are Makoto Hyuga, and Shigeru Aoba. The female is Maya Ibuki. Up in the balcony are Kozuo Fuyutsuki, Second-in-Command and the Supreme Commander himself, Gendo Ikari…the bastard. And on the screen are the one and only Shinji Ikari riding in the cockpit…ok that does not sound wrong at all.

"Maya. Start the reconfiguration," Ritsuko ordered. Maya doing as she is told started pressing keys to activate the system. As soon the system activated. The cockpit started to fill up with orange liquid.

"Whoa! Ho! What the hell! I thought you said I had to sit in it, not drown and die!" Shinji exclaimed as he held his breath as the liquid started to rise up to his chest.

"Don't worry. That's LCL. It's breathable and it's to help you dull the impacts." Ritsuko answered. Shinji breathed it in, but he still did not like it.

"Looks like pee," Shinji said.

"Oh suck it up! You're a man aren't you?" Misato berating him.

"Suck up what now? Whether I am man or not. I will suck up no one's pee and not even my own! Speaking of which! I really need to go since I got here. And looking at pee is not helping!" Everyone in the bridge sweat dropped at that…yes even Gendo.

"Shinji why didn't say anything if you needed to go?" asked Misato.

"Well you told me to read that book and then there was about thinking whether I should pilot this thing. I sort of forgot. So…can I go?" Misato just rubbed her head in annoyance.

"Sorry Shinji. But you will have to hold it in."

"Aahhhhhoooohhhh!" Shinji groaned.

"Maya." Ritsuko looking at her.

"Yes ma'am. Starting reconfiguration. A-10 connection normal." Shinji inside the cockpit started seeing colors of the rainbow and sparkles.

_What the…? I hope they are not implying that I go that way._ The color then went to red to black then he sees the hanger, the room he was in.

"All preliminary contacts established. Performance nominal."

"Whoa," Shinji said in amazement. "Hopefully I won't have to go through this again though."

"Fineries circuit opened. Sync ratio at 41.1%." Maya continues to analyze.

"Amazing," Ritsuko said in fascination.

"Harmonics seem to be normal. I see no disturbances," said Maya.

"Yeah right. That boy is anything but normal," said Misato.

"_I heard that,_" Shinji speaking through the screen. Ritsuko ignoring him, turned to look at Misato.

"Let's do it!" Misato nodded.

"Begin launch sequence!"

**In the hanger the techs are readying the launch.**

"Beginning launch sequence."

"Removing primary lock bolt" Locks released on the shoulders.

"Removal confirmed."

"Removing the umbilical bridge." A bridge connected removed and moved away.

"Removing secondary lock bolts."

"Removing primary restraints."

"Removing secondary restraints."

_Holy crap! How many locks are there? It's like they are trying to get me to pee in here. Oh God I hope not. Geez lets get this over already! I GOTTA GOOOOO!_

**And get over already we shall. So after so many locks removed and adding in a battery and a plug…hehehe…how stupid…Unit 01 was prepped onto the launch pad.**

"Launch pad clear. All systems green." Maya giving an analysis.

"Evangelion ready for launch," said Ritsuko.

"Understood," said Misato. She turned to look at Gendo, who is doing his Gendo trademark pose, "Can we really do this?"

_Wow. No confidence in me at all…then again…I wouldn't either._

"Of course," Gendo replied, "Unless we defeat the angel, we have no future." How grim is that.

"Ikari. Are you absolutely certain?" Fuyutsuki asked. Gendo just smiled. *coubastardth*

"Eva launch!" Misato shouted. Thus the Eva Unit 01 was launched.

"Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh…!" Shinji screamed as the G-force is going against him and a particular part of him as well. _Oh sonava bitch! They are trying to get me to pee myself! Hold on bladder! Hold on!_

Reaching the surface, Shinji sees the angel and the angel staring back at him…were the case if he wasn't…

"Oh God! I'm coming! I'm coming! I can't hold it in!" Everyone in the bridge hearing that sweat dropped massively…including Gendo.

"Shinji! Hold it will you? And get ready! Release final safety locks!" Misato ordered.

The locks on the shoulders that were holding Unit 01 was released.

"Evangelion Unit 01 move out!" Misato shouted. Man these people love to make things dramatic out of things that already is dramatic. Like those soap opera shows.

"Shinji, just concentrate on walking for now." Ritsuko instructed.

_What? Thinking? I have to think to move this? Eh. Better than those flimsy controls the power rangers used. How do they move them with just a stick? _

"OK. Let's take this nice…" Willing the Evangelion, it took one step forward, destroying a nearby phone booth.

"He's walking!" Ritsuko said excitedly. _Why when she said that, it reminded me of Frankenstein?_

"Ok. Nice and slooooooooooow OH GOD!" Taking another step forward only to lose balance and fall down. "Ha owww. That really hurts!" _All that is required for me is to sit in this thing. All that is required my ass!_

"Shinji, are you OK?" Misato asks worriedly.

"Uhhhh…" Before Shinji could answer, he sees the Angel coming towards. _OH CRAP!_

"Hey. Hurry and get up. Get up Shinji!" Misato panicking.

_Easy for you to say._ _YOU aren't in this thing. YOU aren't required to sit in this thing and think! Seriously! Where did they get you and how did you get that job?_

The Angel, Sachiel, picked up Unit 01 by the head to its feet with its left hand and his right hand on Unit 01 left hand.

_Oh crap, crapity, crap! What do I do? This thing is going to kill me if I don't do anything. Oh God please let this thing be a male!_

Shinji willed Unit 01 to lift its right leg and promptly swing it legs into Sachiel place of no return.

Sachiel looked at the Evangelion with confusion as to what it was doing. So it just threw Shinji into a couple of buildings.

"Ow. That was rude." Shinji rubbed his head in pain and looked onto his screen to see the Angel coming towards him. _Ok. What to do? I don't think I can beat big, bad and ugly over there in a fist fight. I don't have any weapons…weapons…weapons?_

"Hey Misato?"

"_What is it Shinji?"_

"What are my weapons?"

"_Just think about activating your weapon system."_

"Oh ok. Weapon system huh? Man it better be good. I hope it's some kind of big gun. A sword. A chain saw. Or maybe this thing could shoot a big-ass laser from its mouth. Or…," the right shoulder opened up and a weapon came out and Shinji grabbed the weapon, "it's a god damn small knife…" Shinji just looks at the knife.

"Misato…what am I suppose to do with this?"

"_What do you mean? You fight with it of course."_

"With THIS? Hell no!"

"Shinji…!"

"Are you freaking serious! What can I…" Shinji starts to wave the knife around, and it slips out of his hand flying towards the Angel's core, which didn't bother to put up its A.T. Field. Being struck in the core it blew up sending a huge cross in the night sky, "do…with…this?" Shinji looked towards the crater where the Angel used to stand.

Everyone just looked at their screen dumb-founded at what happened.

"Oops. My bad. Didn't mean for that to happen."

"_Shinji. What do you mean 'oops'? You killed the Angel."_

"I know Misato. But I didn't mean to kill it like that. It was an accident. The knife just slipped. Honest!" Everyone just continue to look at him dumb-founded.

"_Whatever. I'll send a team out to pick you up. Just stay there ok?"_

"I'm pretty sure I'm not going anywhere." Shinji just looks at the hole that the explosion made.

"Anti-climatic…but what can you do. Oh well. Alls well that ends well. "

**Back in the bridge of NERV…**

"Ikari. Was this in the scenario?" Fuyutsuki looked at Gendo with an amused face.

"Hmmmm," Gendo just stared at his son with only angry thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4 The Where to Whom Belong

**Disclaimer: I do (NOT) own Evangelion or any references I made in this story. If you know the references are from, get yourself a cookie cuz I don't have any to give out. Like I would give out MY cookies. Thank you and enjoy! Not the cookies.**

Summary: What if Shinji was indecisive in doing things and thinks too much on something important and unimportant. What will this cause? Hilarity will ensue.

**Legend:**

**Bold - scene transfer**

_Italics - Shinji's thoughts_

*_smash*_ - sound effects

[Blah blah blah] - Author talking to character(s)

{Blah blah blah} - Character(s) talking to author

* * *

**CHAPTER FOUR: THE WHERE TO WHOM BELONG**

**After the battle with the Angel, Sachiel, Shinji was brought to the medical ward for an examination.**

After much examinations and treatments, Shinji was given a room to sleep in. Sleeping for nearly 5 hours, he wakes looking up to an unfamiliar ceiling.

"Wha…whe…where am I? I was fighting the big ugly thing and then I … I don't remember anything. Well it's not like it is the first I forgotten something. Like that time I forgot to turn that thing off and causing the whole house to burn! Hahahah!" Shinji scratched his head in a comedy manner.

"Ow! What the…?" Shinji looked at his right arm and sees a bandage on him…at least 5-7 bandages give or take.

"Wha…if they are gonna take my blood. The least I can get in return is a cookie and an orange juice." Shinji got up from the bed and felt a draft up his back side. Shinji took a look down to see the hospital gown that he is currently wearing.

"OH MY GOD! Not only had they taken my blood! But they stripped me too! I wonder what else they took from me. Were they that desperate that they had to resort to me! Ah whatever. Not the first time I had to go naked. At least I got some cover this time. I won't go streaking again. In the rain. With dogs chasing me." Shinji shivered in horror of the thought. Shinji walked towards the door, turning the knob, he opens the door to see couple of doctors pushing a crash cart with a familiar blue hair girl on it.

Shinji and the girl locked eyes for a brief moment. _She looks cute._ _Now…where's da toy-let? I gotta go. _Looking around, he sees the elevator.

"There's a start." He walks towards the elevator just about to press the call button for the elevator as it dinged. The door opened to reveal to older men, Fuyutsuki and Gendo. Gendo and Shinji just stared at each other.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Do you know where the toilet is?" Shinji asked.

"…" Gendo just stayed quietly. Thinking thoughts of how could this boy be the product of him and his departed wife, Yui. Fuyutsuki looked down to Shinji.

"There's a restroom on this floor. Take a left from the path behind you. Then it's just 3 doors down on the right." Fuyutsuki answered.

"Thanks!" Shinji bowed to the older man then went toward the path he was instructed. Fuyutsuki just smiled as the elevator closed and resume its course.

**After using the restroom after so long of magically holding it in and won't be explained. After all. That's what makes magic so magical.**

"Shinji!" Shinji turns to see Misato running towards him.

"Oh hey…errr…" Shinji looked at Misato with an embarrassing look.

"What's wrong?" Misato looking a bit concern.

"I ah seem to…err…forgot your name. Hehehe." Shinji laughed nervously.

"What! How could you forget my name?" Misato glaring at Shinji. Shinji sweat dropped at the look. Shinji held his hands out to calm her down.

"I…well…it just did. I'm not very good with names and I have a pretty bad memory. So please forgive and any other future stuff that may or may not happen yet. Please forgive me?" Shinji closed his eyes, clasped his hands together and bow towards her.

Misato just sigh and said, "Oh fine. I'll forgive you. Now come on. Lets check out where you will be living for now on, 'kay?" Misato gave Shinji a happy smile/

"Sure." Shinji just smiled along.

**20 minutes later in the Information office…**

"What?" Misato screamed at the man who gave the living location of Shinji.

"What do you mean he will be living alone?"

"It's exactly as it says. Do you have a problem with it?" The man of unimportance said with of no concern.

"Well, no." Misato looked towards Shinji, who was back into his normal attire and reading the NERV manual book…*_Record scratches*… _

[Ok what the hell man!]

{What?}

[Why are you in the hell reading that book again?]

{It's very educational.}

[What!]

{Yeah.}

[How?]

{Well it looks like I'll be here for a while, so I figure that if I want to live I need to study about NERV.}

[Study to survive? Boy! Remember what that blonde woman said? The robot wasn't in the manual.]

{Oh I know that.}

[If you know that. Then why did you say it was educational?]

{Because Misato got us lost like 5 times before we finally found the Information office. I need to find my way around here you know. I'm surprise that there is a map in this manual. Not many manuals will come with maps.}

[Oh. That makes sense…I guess…carry on]

"Shinji."

Shinji looked from the manual and looked towards Misato. "Yes?"

Misato gave a concerning look. "Are you OK living by yourself?"

Shinji brought his index finger under his lower lip and his middle finger on his chin, looking cast downwardly thinking of an answer.

Coming up with an answer he returns to his normal stance. "Hmmm…Yes."

"Are you sure?" Misato asking worriedly.

"No." Shinji said with a blank face.

"Wha? Which is it?"

"Ahhhmmmmm…," Shinji brought his right hand to his chin in thought about his answer casting his eyes to the right, then looking back at Misato, "Yes. I can live by myself."

"Are sure about this?"

"No." Misato was getting annoyed. The man of unimportance just sweat dropped at what's going on.

Misato said to Shinji, nearly shouting, "Damn it Shinji! This is important. Now can you live by yourself?"

"Ummmm. If the question is if I could live by myself then it is 'yes'."

Misato getting even more annoyed. "Grr. But…?"

Shinji answered, "But if the question is if I am able to live by myself. Then it's 'no'."

Misato was getting confuse, bringing her hand to head and rubbing away the migraine. "What does that mean?

"Well a person can definitely live by themselves. However. Can the person be ABLE to live by themselves? Well it actually depends how the person is able to acquire the resources that may be able to sustain themselves and be able to sustain living by themselves. Like for instances: having a job, be able to cook and clean, and paying taxes as such and so on. Can I do these things? No. I am not able to take care of myself. I can live alone, but I would surely die. Does this satisfy you Misato?" Shinji looks at Misato, who had a dumbfounded look on her face.

"So…are you saying you can't live alone?"

"In the simplest term. Yes." Misato just face-palmed.

"Shinji you will be living with me. Is that alright?" She looked towards the unimportant man.

"You'll have to take it up with the commander."

**After getting the approval from the Lord of Bastards…err I mean Commander Ikari.**

"I'll have to call Ritsu." Misato went to the nearest phone booth and called her good old…*_smack*_

[Ow! What was that for?]

{I am not old!}

[Wha…yes you are]

{No I am not. I'm old-erly sexy}

[…]

{What?}

[Whatever. Lets just get this story movin']

"What?" Ritsuko exclaimed.

"As I said, I've decided to take charge of Shinji. I've got my superior's approval." Misato looks back at Shinji who is busy…reading…the…damn…manual…Whatever, I'm done. Forget it!

With a teasing tone, "Don't worry. I won't have an affair with a child."

Looking up from the book to Misato with a curious look, "What's an 'affair'? Is it good? Is it really tasty?"

Misato just sweat dropped. But soon she pulled the phone away from her ear as she was assaulted by Ritsuko's shouting, "That goes without saying! What the hell are you thinking?"

"Hahaha! Don't worry he will be in the best of care buh-bye!"

"Wha…wait Mis…" *_Clang_* Misato hung-up the phone.

"Will Shinji, I guess this calls for a celebration!" Misato looks happily towards Shinji as he looks back at her with his own happy smile.

"Yah!" Shinji raised his fist into the air.

"Well. Looks like I might like you yet. So first, before we go home. We are gonna pick up some stuff." Shinji cocked his head to the side.

"Like what?"

"Oh just some food and drinks to celebrate. That's all. Alright lets go!" Misato walks away with Shinji in tow.

_Ok, the way to the parking lot is…_

**After so many lost minutes getting to the car that won't be described and shopping, they are now on the road heading home, but not before…**

Misato pulled over to a railing guard on a cliff, overlooking a dark empty city.

"Misato why did we stop here?" Shinji looked confused at Misato, who got out of the car.

"Just get out Shinji. I want to show you something." _Oh god! No this can't be happening! First the nurses, now her! What hell is with these women in Tokyo 3? I'm only 14 years old! I have so much to live for…for whatever reason that I cannot think of._

Misato shouted to Shinji in a low tone, "Shinji! Get out! Now!" _Oh god! Good-bye youth!_

Shinji whimpered as he reluctantly did as he was told. He got out of the car and about to unbuckle his belt.

"Shinji. Take a look." Misato pointed out towards the darkness. Shinji looked in that direction in which he was filled with awe.

"Whoa!" Shinji slowly walked towards the rail guards as he see buildings rising from the ground. Each one started to shine brightly like a sea of stars of hope has arisen from the darkness.

"Amazing isn't it?" Shinji just nodded his head in agreement for lost of words.

"This is Neo Tokyo 3. A city that you protected. This city is the last line of defense against the Angels. Humanity's last hope of survival. And you are their guardian. This is your home Shinji."

Shinji looks toward Misato who had a smile on face. A smile of appreciation. Something that Shinji in his whole life never received.

A smile came about as trickle of tears form from his eyes. Shinji wipe the tears from his eyes and smiled even brighter with the city in the back.

And uttered two words.

"I'm home."


	5. Chapter 5 The How of Life

**Disclaimer: I do (NOT) own Evangelion or any references I made in this story. If you know the references are from, get yourself a cookie cuz I don't have any to give out. Like I would give out MY cookies. Thank you and enjoy! Not the cookies.**

Summary: What if Shinji was a docile boy, but looks a lot more than you gave him credit for. He maybe more trouble than he is worth it. What will this cause? Hilarity will ensue.

**Legend:**

**Bold - scene transfer**

_Italics - Shinji's thoughts_

*_smash*_ - sound effects

[Blah blah blah] - Author talking to character(s)

{Blah blah blah} Character(s) talking to author in private chat

* * *

**CHAPTER FIVE: THE HOW OF LIFE**

Shinji and Misato stood on the road watching the city from afar at night, as the cold wind blew gently. "So Shinji, after seeing the city, ready to head on home?"

"Yeah." Shinji's stomach let out a growl of hunger. Shinji looked down at his stomach in embarrassment. Misato just laughed at him until her stomach growled as well, making her look embarrassed, allowing Shinji to laugh back at her.

"Then I guess we better get going quick." Misato and Shinji turned back to get into the car.

"Meow" Both of them stopped to look at the returning silver cat sitting on Misato's car hood. The cat stared at Misato and Shinji as they stared dumbfounded back at the cat. They both rubbed their eyes for a second to see if the cat was really there. When they took a look back, they saw nothing, as the cat had disappeared once again.

"Whoa. Where does it disappear to? Or was it never there to begin with?" Shinji stared at the car in a confused look.

"Oh no, there it is." Shinji pointed at the cat staring out in the backseat side window. Misato looked at the cat.

"How did it ever get in there?" Misato wondered as she thought that it was impossible with the closed doors and windows. Shinji just shrugged.

"I don't know. It's like asking how life works. Hey, maybe you can ask the cat how it does the disappearing act…or maybe not. Magic cannot be revealed or else it will lose its power. But then again, I am curious. Oh, I'm so confuse. Which one should I do? To ask or to not ask? That is the question. Let's see, it would be cool to know if I can do the disappearing thing too. It can come in handy for…secret stuffs," Shinji shifted his eyes, "But once it is known, it might not work anymore, it might that I have to learn it on my own. Damn I hate stuff like that. If it doesn't work I will be wasting my time. Oh crap!" Shinji gave a worried look, "I forgot to take out the trash today! Uncle is going to be so mad at me. Well mad as he can be after that kitchen incident, the garden incident and that school fire incidents. Man, I should have never added that chicken…mmmmmm fried chicken." Shinji proceeded to give out a happy look with drool sliding out of his open mouth. While Misato took a little step back away from him.

"Um, Shinji?" Hearing Misato call, he snapped out of his happy daze.

"Yes?"

"The cat's gone." Misato pointed at the empty backseat.

"D'oh!" Shinji grimaced. Misato gave an amused look.

"Let's go Shinji."

"Fine." Shinji slowly walked towards the car with a dejected face.

**After a drive to the 24/7 store, purchasing foods and drinks, almost crashing into a mailbox, hobo, a crossing old lady and an insurance building, they have gotten to an apartment building. Yep, it's a good night to be alive.**

"Your things should have already been delivered, Shinji." said Misato, as she leads Shinji, who is following in tow, carrying a bag of groceries. Misato stops at a door with a name plate on it that says, "M. Katsuragi" and about 10 boxes piled next to it. "That's a lot of stuff for a 14 year old boy…well maybe it is. I bet you have at least 1 or 20 naughty magazines, huh?" She grinned at Shinji, who was busy checking the boxes.

"No, I don't have any." Shinji set the groceries next to a box, and opens it, looking inside to see if the contents inside are intact. He shifted through some stuff. "Hmm. Seems everything is the way it's packed. But these are not all of my stuff. Looks like they couldn't deliver all of my stuff."

"I don't believe that a 14 year old boy doesn't have at least ONE porn magazine. Ah ha! Bet they're on your computer."

"I really don't." Shinji looks at Misato.

"Really?" Misato just gave a lecherous grin.

"Yeah. I have been getting into a lot of accidents, so I don't really have the time." Misato's grin just grew wider.

"Ha! So you do have porn stashed away!"

Shinji sighed, "No, I don't. Can't we just go in now?" _I'm starting to regret ever deciding to live with her._

"Sure. The truth is, I just recently moved to this city too." _Is that so?_ The door slides open and they both walked in. Misato turns her head towards Shinji, "Come on in."

"Pardon the intrusion." _I have a bad feeling about this._

"Shinji, this is YOUR home now," Misato went inside as Shinji came further in too.

"I'm home." Misato smiled

"Welcome home." The door closes behind them.

"As you can see, the place is a little bit messy, but make yourself comfortable," Misato said as she turned on the lights. Shinji just stared at the mess of littered beer cans, empty and half-emptied potato chip bags, other alcoholic drinks, boxes of clothes, unopened boxes, books spread out, cleaning supplies and trash bags. Even the table is covered in trash. Wait there's a table? He just stared and stared. More staring. _Wow…she is A LOT cleaner than me._

"Wow. You're a lot cleaner than me." Misato stared back at him and then she stared at the trash that is currently dominating the room.

"Shinji. There is no way this is a lot cleaner than yours." Shinji looked at Misato.

"Nope. This is a lot cleaner. Believe me. What I do, there is no point in even having to clean, 'cause it will just keep coming back." Misato gave him a look of disbelief.

"And what do you do?"

"I'm making a giant slingshot to shoot my enemies into the sun to take over the world. Muhahaha!"

"WHAT?"

"AHH!" Shinji jumped in fright, "Don't scare me like that."

"Shinji, why would you do that?"

"I do what now?" Shinji looked confused at Misato.

"Why build a slingshot to sling your enemies into the sun? And what's with you about taking over the world?" Shinji looked even more confused.

"Wha-what? Who would do that? That's stupid. Who in their right mind would think about taking over the world with a giant sling shot." Misato faced-palmed and gave out a frustrated sigh.

This is going to be a very rough relationship. Can't wait to see how Shinji is when he goes to school next Monday. Which reminds me…

"Shinji, you better be ready."

"Ready for what?" Shinji looks curiously at Misato.

"You're going to school on Monday. The Tokyo 3 middle school."

"WHAT? I have to go to school?" Misato gave a stern look.

"Of course. You're a kid and you're supposed to go to school. So deal with it."

_Man…how does my life suck so much?_

* * *

_A/N:_ Sorry for the long update, but I just got lazy and didn't feel like writing. And well, I only began writing this story out of boredom, so expect this to be a very long updated story. Or short. Depends really if I feel like it, now that I just finish my College finals and have no school till Fall. So if you have the patience to wait for this story because for some odd reason you like it (not that I'm complaining) then by all means add this story to your alert (if you haven't already). Thank you.

A/N 2: This chapter has been re-edited. Thanks to **Cylon** for the list that needs corrections.


	6. Chapter 6 The Ruler of the School

**Disclaimer: I do (NOT) own Evangelion or any references I made in this story. If you know the references are from, get yourself a cookie cuz I don't have any to give out. Like I would give out MY cookies. Thank you and enjoy! Not the cookies.**

Summary: What if Shinji was a docile boy, but looks a lot more than you gave him credit for. He maybe more trouble than he is worth it. What will this cause? Hilarity will ensue.

**Legend:**

**Bold - scene transfer**

_Italics - Shinji's thoughts_

*_smash*_ - sound effects

[Blah blah blah] - Author talking

{Blah blah blah} Character(s) talking to author in private chat

* * *

**CHAPTER SIX: THE RULER OF THE SCHOOL**

**After Shinji was trying to put the extra food into the refrigerator, and trying is the key word here, as the refrigerator was full of nothing but Yebisu brand beers. He noticed the other smaller refrigerator but opted to put the food on the table. Misato then showed the room that Shinji will be staying in.**

"There is one more thing we need to settle." Misato said, giving a serious look.

"And what's that?" Shinji wondered. Misato stared at him and then…

"ROCK! PAPER!…"

"AH!" Shinji in reflex did paper. While Misato…

"SCISSORS! YES! I won! That means _you're_ in charge of Monday morning. Lucky me."

Shinji just stared at her as she started to scribble his name on a large piece of paper with some days and chores.

"Okay, NEXT! ROCK, PAPER…"

"Hey! Wait! Stop looking at me like that!"

"SCISSORS!" Misato did rock and Shinji did scissors.

"One more!"

**As you can tell. Shinji sucks at rock, paper and scissors. On the sheet, Shinji's name filled up almost all the spaces, while Misato took about 7 to 10 spaces. How is that fair?**

"Alright Shinji, you should take a bath while I make dinner," Misato said, as she takes out microwavable dinners from the bag that Shinji was carrying. Shinji just nodded and went into his room to change.

As Shinji got inside the bathroom, Misato was adding some additional items onto the instant dinners, thinking it would make it better. After she was done adding, she puts one of the dinners into the microwave, setting the timer to 3 minutes and presses the "ON" button.

As soon she did that, she just remembered something important she was supposed to tell Shinji. Misato had forgotten to tell Shinji that there is one more resident living with them. Oh well. Just as her thought ended, she heard a shriek in the bathroom.

"WARRRRK! WARK! WARK! WARRRRRRRRK!" The shriek is then accompanied with glass breaking and thuds. "WARK WARK WARK!" The one screaming then proceeds to pound on the door as though its life depends on it. A loud thud is then heard as something seems to crash into the door.

*_Ding*_

Just as the microwave signaled its duty done, the sound from the bathroom ended as well. Misato just stared at the door.

Just then, the door flew open and a streak of red, white and black seemingly flew behind Misato's leg and chasing it was the Third Child showing all of his glory to the world.

"Come back here you! I'm not done with you!" Shinji yelled at the thing, now revealed to be a black and white, green eyed penguin, with large red eyebrows and a collar with the word "PEN^2 (It's read as Pen squared). He stopped when he noticed that it was hiding behind his guardian.

"Shinji, what's going on and why are you chasing Pen Pen?" Misato asked, while the now named penguin, Pen Pen, was cowering in fear before the monster.

"Well I was going to take a bath, just like you suggested, when I noticed something in the bath. And would you believe that there was a chicken in it?" Just as he was saying it, he turned toward the terrified bird and drooled in hunger. Pen Pen seeing it, fled in terror into the smaller refrigerator. Seeing this, Shinji tried to chase after it but was blocked by Misato.

"Hey! What's the big idea?" Shinji turned to look angrily at Misato.

"That's what I should be saying to you! Pen Pen is not a chicken, he's a penguin. Who happens to be my pet." Misato said, looking angrily back at him.

"Oh…Well why didn't you tell me?" Shinji asked. Misato sighed.

"That's my fault. It's been a very hectic day and so, I guess, I forgot. Sorry about that." Misato looking apologetically.

"Meh. It's alright. No harm. No fowl." Shinji smiled. Misato laughed at the stupid joke. She just then realized something missing on Shinji. Particularly the things that were supposed to cover his birthday suit. Misato just got an evil thought and a mischievous grin to show it.

"So Shinji…interested in seeing my bed?" Misato saying in a seductive voice, that no man can resist.

"Why do I want to see your bed?" Shinji cocked his head in curiosity.

"Well…" Misato just looked down. Shinji following her gaze and saw what she was looking at.

"Oh." Shinji just realized that he came out of the bathroom without a towel or clothing.

"So how about it Shinji? Interested?" Misato giving a sexy look. Shinji looked at Misato and said, "Naw. I'm just going to take a bath, eat and then go to sleep." With that, he proceeded to return to the bathroom to take his bath, leaving a stunned captain in the hallway.

Misato couldn't believe that she wasn't able to tempt the boy at all. It's like he didn't even care. Misato shook her head and just went back to heat up the other dinner.

**And so, the day has ended with Shinji suffering mild food poisoning and having a bad nightmare. A new day has begun for our sort-of-hero. For the next few days, he'll be tested in Evangelion Unit One, until Monday. And I'll be skipping out on the boring training regiment. All I can say is. Shinji was very bored, and a few people were hurt and some were deemed to never work again. The day today is now early Monday morning…**

"Shinji, are you ready yet? You don't want to be late for your first day of school do you?" But all Misato heard was silence. Concerned, she went into Shinji's room, now dubbed "Shinji's Suite". She looked inside and what she saw shocked her beyond all reason.

**We now find ourselves at the Tokyo-3 Middle School, where things are always normal as they can be…right?**

As a teacher walked into room A-2, the class representative initiated the ritual of "Stand. Bow. Sit."

"Class. Today we have a transfer student coming in today. I want you all to welcome him and treat him well." Hearing this, the class began to murmur among themselves. Who was this kid? Why is this kid coming here to Tokyo-3 after what happened with the terrorist attacks (NERV cover story). After a few minutes passed, the class looked toward the door to see if the transfer student would be coming in.

Nothing.

"Strange. He should be here by now." Just as the teacher said that. Everyone heard a scream. Every passing second, the scream can be heard getting louder and louder. They now all realize where it was coming from. It seemed to be coming from outside. Just before the class turned their heads to look at the source, something crashed through the back row classroom window and rolled towards the door behind them, stopping it.

What they saw, they couldn't believe it. It was a boy, with hardly any injuries at all. And he just got up like nothing happened, dusting his black pants and his tucked white shirt.

"Mister Ikari, I presume?" the teacher asked, like something like this happened on an everyday occurrence. The boy hearing his name looked up.

"Yup! That's me! I'm not late am I?"

"No. You're just on time. Please introduce yourself to the class." Shinji doing as he is told, came up to the front of the class then turned towards to the still stunned classroom.

"Hello! My name is Shinji Ikari. I just moved here from Osaka. And I will be your future Ruler slash Destroyer of the world!" The class now looked at the kid like he was mentally ill or something. One of the students raised his hand.

"Why?" Shinji looked at him.

"Why what?"

"Why do you want to rule slash destroy the world?" Everyone was interested as well.

"I what now? I never said that." Shinji denied. Everyone looked at him, thinking how retarded this guy is.

"How come you came through the window?" This got everyone's attention. After all, it's not like this happened everyday. Until starting today.

"Hehehe. Sorry but that is classified information."

[But the readers should know…right?]

"Ikari. Please take a seat. Also, if you need any help, please ask the class representative, Hikari Horaki." Hearing her name, she stood up reluctantly. She didn't want the weird kid to know who she was.

"Got it." Shinji proceeded to take the second to last seat in the back row by a window.

"Now class. Second Impact…" The teacher then drones on and on about the cause and effect of Second Impact, while a student in a gym uniform walked in. He talked to the class rep, explaining why he was late. He sat in a desk, talking to a brown haired boy wearing glasses, who then pointed at Shinji. Shinji wasn't paying attention. He was thinking on a few tweaks he would add to his weapons of destruction…and chicken. His attention was then turned towards to the red laptop screen on his desk.

"_Are you the pilot of the purple robot? Y/N_" Shinji looked at the message and proceeded to write a response.

"_What does Y/N mean?_" Send. The class did a muffled laugh. Then a new message popped up.

"_It means "YES" or "NO". So are you?_"

"_Am I what?_" The class then laughed louder but still subtle. There was a frustrated growl.

"_ARE YOU THE ROBOT PILOT?_"

"_What's a robot?_" The class let out a roar of laughter. But two students weren't. One of them was glaring at Shinji with eyes of hatred. A bell is then heard, signaling that class is over.

The boy wearing the uniform walked towards Shinji, with the bespectacled boy following him.

" 'ey, weird kid." Shinji looked up to him.

"Yes?" The boy glared at him.

"Come with me. We got something to talk about."

"Uh…ok." Shinji got up and followed the boys outside.

A few minutes after the boys left, Hikari, who just finished packing her supplies away, saw something on the ground near the destroyed window. She went towards it and picked up the object. The object was a ruler. She looked at it. It was like any other ruler but she knows that the teacher does not have one. She then looked at the desk that was near where she found it. She looked at the ruler and just left it on the desk and proceeded to exit the room.

The desk she put the ruler on belonged to none other than Shinji Ikari.

**Next time on Neon Genesis Evangelion Indecisive Shinji Ikari...**

"Where is Ikari?"

"The Angel has been detected."

"Where in the hell is Shinji?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Goddamn it Shinji."

**Chapter Seven: Boo! No Explosions.**

* * *

A/N: If there are any needs of correction, please inform me. Thank you.

As for Toji. I don't know how to do his speech with the accent.

Thank you for reading.


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